So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
