turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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