Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
