so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
