I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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