I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize