East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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