In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
