She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
