I want to stick my p in your. b.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
