I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
