He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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