All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
wow bdsm is so cute
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