You work out of a Hotel?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
