Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
