Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
