She's JV to your varsity
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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