Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
