It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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