Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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