Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
