I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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