I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
