Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
