ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
