dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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