Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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