beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
