dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
