Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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