In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
