If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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