I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
