Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
