either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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