I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
