I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
