I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
