love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize