Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He passed out mid-signature
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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