You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
