just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
