just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
