just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
