To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Randomize
