hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
