If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
