I am in a vortex of obligation.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
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