I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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