Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
you win again, gameday.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
