my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He? As in you personified your dick?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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