If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
