you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
