Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
