I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
do herpes really smell.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize
