I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
