It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
