Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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