hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
