Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
