you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
