Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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