Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize