Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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