Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
where are you?
Hypothermia
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
