Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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