i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
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