After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
