I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
