It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Randomize
