I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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