her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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