She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
