she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
